Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize