So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
