is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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