Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
