I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Me. At least after what I've been through.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize