you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
