Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
