it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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