Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
