I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
