Midget sex pt 2 tonight
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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