East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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