Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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