And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize