Screwed.edu
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
