Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize