I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
a search helicopter?!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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