Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i drank out of a bidet.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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