We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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