so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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