And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
