he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
