The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
