Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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