I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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