$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
