You're my little dorito
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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