Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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