im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
