I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
