Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
