yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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