I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There r osticjed everywhere
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
