We won't sleep together?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
