They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
