why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
