if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
