I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
