AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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