It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I am puke
I faked an abortion last night.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
