you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
