no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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