i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
