i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
