Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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