Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
