wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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