you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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