Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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