were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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