she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am spending my child support on dildos
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Is Oprah even human
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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