Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
