what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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