My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
