No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
