but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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