Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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