i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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