You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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