I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
