she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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