Don't make out with my wife yet
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
