Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
