I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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