i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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