FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
